Negotiating With Crazy

September 8, 2015

th-7… makes you JUST as crazy.

Yet we try to do it anyway.

In life, your only responsibility is to express yourself to others and to do so kindly, constructively and compassionately. Then your work is DONE. You owe nothing else.

Your work is never to make the other person understand you. In fact, they may NEVER understand you. They may never be able to understand you. But that is about them, NOT YOU.

People always come to the table with their own bag of tricks – their own fears, struggles and hidden pains that generally create protective barriers around them. In other words, people shut down to hearing what might very well cause them pain or confusion or burst their bubble of “reality.”

But here’s the deal… those walls are theirs and it is not your job to try and tear them down so that they can hear you. Your job is only to express your truth in the kindest fashion possible and then LET IT GO. Don’t need them to agree with you. And certainly don’t argue with them either. Instead give them space to hear and digest what you have said. They will come around in their own time and if they don’t, they might not be the right people to have in your life at that moment.

It is also important to remember that people who are hurting naturally come across as “illogical and irrational” in their speech, but again, you cannot change that for them. You can only offer your truth with kindness, compassion and understanding. And realize at that point that your work is done. Bless them and walk away.

Trying to negotiate with crazy will make you just as crazy. Recognize that it’s NEVER your job to convince someone of your feelings and intentions. It is only your job to express them with kindness and let others find their way with them. When they are ready, they will hear you and in the interim, invest in others who are more open to who you are and what you have to say. After all, life is too short to feel like you are talking to a wall. Don’t make yourself crazy, put your energy into talking with someone whom you can actually have a 2-way dialogue with.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Written by Donnalynn Civello

  • RevJenineMarie, November 5, 2015 Reply

    Very good and productive advice! So much anxiety can be relieved by just letting go of trying to convince others of our being "right".

    • dlcivello, November 6, 2015 Reply

      Yes, definitely! Once we start having to convince others of our being right, we lose. Thanks for your support and feedback!

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