… is attachment.
Attachment to any one thing working out the way you want it to/need it to – be it a job, relationship, situation, etc… If you need it to happen in a certain way by a certain time and with certain parameters, you are attached to it. And if you are attached to an outcome, you will suffer when that outcome is not achieved.
Attachment is dangerous because it implies that you know what is right for you in life. Trust me, you don’t always know what’s right for you. Generally speaking there are 3 outcomes: what you want, what you need and what is right for you – they are not always the same thing. In fact, we tend to mistakenly think that what we want or need is what is right for us. Therein is the root of suffering.
It is OK to have hopes, dreams and goals, but it is NOT OK to hold onto a specific outcome. If you don’t get what you want, learn to let it go and trust that there is something much better around the corner. When you can learn to not attach to a given outcome, you generally find that what you receive is much better than what you thought you were going to get.
Learn to minimize the amount of suffering in your life. Let go of needing things to be the way you want them to be and let things be the way they are. Adopt this strategy and you might find that things work out even better than you could have imagined.
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