There’s no way around it. If you roll out a doormat outside your front door, people will naturally step all over it. And why not? That’s what it’s there for.
The same holds with your personal relationships – all relationships. It all comes down to personal boundaries. How clear are you with your boundaries? Do you let others cross them from time to time? Do you tend to take the path of least resistance and give others the benefit of the doubt? Do you like to refrain from “rocking the boat?” That is all wonderful until conceding becomes compromising.
Being nice doesn’t win you the race. Being authentic to yourself does. It’s very simple. If you allow others to walk all over you – even just once – you are telling the universe that you do not deserve better and that you are ok with a given state of behavior.
You should NEVER be ok with taking a back seat to bad behavior. Being nice does NOT negate the energy of accepting less than you deserve. The only thing that will change bad behavior is enforcing boundaries. If you set up your boundaries upfront, people will know that there are boundaries in existence and that they cannot be crossed. But if you never establish boundaries, others will push the edges to see how far they can go. It is human nature.
If you do not want to be walked on, take the doormat off the front porch. Explain to your guests as they come in that in your house, guests take off their shoes. After all, it’s YOUR house and they should abide by YOUR rules. Establish those rules upfront and you will find that in life, people will seldom cross them or will at least think twice about it.
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