You can have the best of intentions and give the best advice but if someone is not in a place to hear it, they will NOT hear it.
Everyone has their own insecurities and their own sensitivities which bias the way they receive information.
For example, they might be sensitive to the content itself — to your tone — or to your delivery. This is because everyone has their own lens from which they filter data — their perception becomes their reality and it is heightened when that perception is shaped by their insecurities.
If someone is too sensitive to hear your constructive guidance, stop giving it. Stop trying to make your words relevant to them. Let them process the data in their own way and let go of the outcome.
When people can’t hear you, their filters are defensively rejecting your feedback. When they take your guidance “the wrong way,” they may be in the process of defending their ego. Step away.
There are always 2-sides to every story. All you can do is own your intentions; you cannot change others’ filter. If you truly feel you were helping someone with integrity and if that someone feels judged or attacked by your attempts to help them; they are not in a place to hear your guidance. Stop talking.
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