People Only See What They Want To See

May 11, 2015

People only see… and you can’t change that.

It’s NOT your job to change that.

Perception is reality.  A person’s perception is carefully colored by their personal experiences. Those experiences make them who they are and give them a unique perspective on the world. That perspective is their truth – whether it resonates with your or not – it’s their truth and needs to be acknowledged as such. It is important to realize that you don’t have to agree with them, you have only to accept that for them, this is their truth.

The name of the game is acceptance. In life, you want to learn to change the things you can and ACCEPT the things you can’t. There’s no use in trying to change someone’s viewpoint. It’s theirs. Your viewpoints might be in conflict because perception is reality and reality is always relative to the person perceiving it.

Save your energy the next time you are disagreeing with someone’s perception. After all, it is their reality you are challenging. The sooner that you can accept that other people will view the world and certain circumstances differently, the sooner you can head-off a potential conflict. It’s not your job to get people to see things the way you see them, it is your job to realize that people will see things through their own perceptive lens of reality and that may not match yours. And that has to be ok.

Acceptance is the name of the game. People only see what they want to see – or what they are conditioned to see, but regardless they see it through their own lens of reality. No need to fight against that lens, if it doesn’t work for you, don’t use it. Cast it aside and use your own lens. You don’t have to validate someone’s lens, you just have to accept that they have one.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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Written by Donnalynn Civello

  • rainawareness, May 11, 2015 Reply

    That's considered a mental disorder

    • dlcivello, May 11, 2015 Reply

      Thank you for your comment. It absolutely can be (to some extent), but the important thing to remember is that if you are dealing with anyone who sees things their own way is that you recognize that it isn't important for them to see things the way you see them, it's only important that you uphold your own perceptions and don't waste your time and integrity trying to get others to agree with you - whatever their issues are. Let them have their "reality", never make it yours. Your lens can (and should always be different).

  • nikki, May 11, 2015 Reply

    Donnalynn thanks.  I seem to facing an obstacle lately.  I have received a new title, yet the corporate office is doing everything they can to undermine my work and make accusations that imply I should not have the title. I know I cannot change ones perspective I can only be my authentic self.  Every obstacle leads to growth. Even if the title is taken away I know this is not about me, but those that are working from Ego.  In the mean time it does hurt to hear accusation that seem unfounded.  I will choose the path of love and know it leads me to the perfect destination. From: Ethereal Wellness Counseling To: Sent: Monday, May 11, 2015 2:02 PM Subject: [New post] People Only See What They Want To See #yiv0795518942 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv0795518942 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv0795518942 a.yiv0795518942primaryactionlink:link, #yiv0795518942 a.yiv0795518942primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv0795518942 a.yiv0795518942primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv0795518942 a.yiv0795518942primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv0795518942 | dlcivello posted: "... and you can't change that.It's NOT your job to change that.Perception is reality.  A person's perception is carefully colored by their personal experiences. Those experiences make them who they are and give them a unique perspective on the wor" | |

  • dlcivello, May 12, 2015 Reply

    Hi Nikki - I wrote this on facebook yesterday and I hope it gives you a bit of inspiration ... it's kinda like "you can't negotiate with crazy..." If who you are dealing with can't understand your position and where you are coming from, you have to be strong in yourself to NOT need their validation and truly be able to let it go. If you know who you are and what your personal truth is that is ALL that matters. Always, donnalynn

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