The name of the game is “boundaries.” Giving is a beautiful thing but if you GIVE TOO MUCH, there will always be an expectation for that level of giving. And if you are giving too much without giving to yourself, you will be depleting your own resources. So who wins here? Is it the one who plays the martyr and gives everything away and loses themselves in the process? No. In fact no one wins.
Any relationship is about balance – that goes for love relationships, parent-child relationships, working relationships, etc. Giving and receiving must be in equal measure. If you are giving to yourself while receiving from others, you are in beautiful place to give to others. But as soon as the balance of power shifts and everything is given to the other, then you are left with nothing and feel consequently exhausted, depleted, depressed, resentful and angry. But who set it up that way? No one took anything from you that wasn’t on offer.
If you are unhappy with what you are receiving from others, STOP GIVING. Define your boundaries and express yourself. People respect people who respect themselves. People walk on doormats because they are put out for just that purpose. If you need more from someone, giving more to them will NOT get you there. Time to pull it back and put that energy into yourself. When you give to you, you have more to give to others. And when you give to you, others will recognize and respect that they need to give to you in order to continue to receive what they need from you. This is the essence of a healthy, balanced relationship.
No sense in being angry with your situation. You are where you are because you’ve allowed it. Giving and receiving must be in equal measure, if it’s not, it’s time to make another decision.
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