Relationships are about boundaries. When relating to others it is critical that you are extremely clear about your boundaries and what behavior you will accept and what behavior you will NOT accept.
Often times we get upset with others’ behavior. We feel slighted by their words or their actions. Unfortunately it is too easy to turn a blind eye and hope the other person is having an off-day. Either that or we react the opposite way and we unconsciously explode into a fit of victimizing anger. Neither action yields the desired result.
Communication upfront is the only way to ensure that your needs will be met. Don’t expect others to know what “good and fair” behavior is for you. Don’t give them the opportunity to decide that. It is your work to decide what you will and will not accept from others.
Once you are clear with your boundaries, you will be met with much BETTER outcomes. When people are clear with their boundaries, other people respect them more. They respect them for respecting themselves. In other words, you get much better behavior when you establish the expectation upfront.
There will always be people who push your boundaries and try to cross the line. If you haven’t set up the line beforehand, it will always make it harder to distinguish later. Also if you haven’t designated the line at all, how can others know when they have crossed it? Be clear with your boundaries. Learn to speak up for yourself. Learn to defend your integrity and let no one cross that line.
You get what you accept. If you do not want to accept it, do not allow it. You cannot control other’s behavior, but you can control what you will and will not accept from them. Avoidance does not solve the issue nor does arguing. Communicating yourself upfront – kindly, constructively and compassionately will go so far to supporting the type of interactions you will receive in your life. Love yourself. Respect yourself and draw the line. If the line is there, others will most certainly think twice about crossing it.
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