Drawing the Line

April 7, 2014

images… makes sure it never gets crossed.

Relationships are about boundaries. When relating to others it is critical that you are extremely clear about your boundaries and what behavior you will accept and what behavior you will NOT accept.

Often times we get upset with others’ behavior. We feel slighted by their words or their actions. Unfortunately it is too easy to turn a blind eye and hope the other person is having an off-day. Either that or we react the opposite way and we unconsciously explode into a fit of victimizing anger. Neither action yields the desired result.

Communication upfront is the only way to ensure that your needs will be met. Don’t expect others to know what “good and fair” behavior is for you. Don’t give them the opportunity to decide that. It is your work to decide what you will and will not accept from others.

Once you are clear with your boundaries, you will be met with much BETTER outcomes. When people are clear with their boundaries, other people respect them more. They respect them for respecting themselves. In other words, you get much better behavior when you establish the expectation upfront.

There will always be people who push your boundaries and try to cross the line.  If you haven’t set up the line beforehand, it will always make it harder to distinguish later. Also if you haven’t designated the line at all, how can others know when they have crossed it? Be clear with your boundaries. Learn to speak up for yourself. Learn to defend your integrity and let no one cross that line.

You get what you accept. If you do not want to accept it, do not allow it. You cannot control other’s behavior, but you can control what you will and will not accept from them. Avoidance does not solve the issue nor does arguing. Communicating yourself upfront – kindly, constructively and compassionately will go so far to supporting the type of interactions you will receive in your life. Love yourself. Respect yourself and draw the line. If the line is there, others will most certainly think twice about crossing it.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Emotional Wellbeing and Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Written by Donnalynn Civello

  • Carolina, April 8, 2014 Reply

    Relationships are about boundaries - truly they are. Great Post - inspired me and is opening my eyes to those around me. Thank you!

    • dlcivello, April 8, 2014 Reply

      Oh so glad it inspired you, Carolina. We usually don't think of necessarily setting boundaries and yet we get upset once those boundaries are crossed. Life is about applying consciousness to everything and everyone. Then we always get a better product. Thanks for your feedback!

Leave A Comment

Leave a Reply

RECENT POSTS: Ethereal Wellness Counseling

When You Walk With Your Head Down

… you walk into walls. It’s common sense. When you’re not looking where you’re going, you’re most likely going to end up somewhere you don’t want to be. Most of us sleepwalk our way through our lives — running the mouse wheel of life. We are so busy trying to make a living that we […]

It’s Not About Making The Right Choice

… it’s about accepting the choice you’ve already made. Our life’s path is made up of choices and there are no mistakes when it comes to making choices, because there are no right or wrong choices, there are only different choices. Don’t get caught up in the choice you’ve made – make it and move on. […]

Looking Back to the Past

… is only helpful to the extent it allows you to move forward into your future.  If it doesn’t, it keeps you back. Your life is only ever in front of you, never behind you. The past can be an informative tool if we don’t get trapped in it. If you want to uncover the […]

A Mid-life Crisis

… requires a mid-course correction. A mid-life crisis can happen at any age, but the wisdom here is that the secret to healing it, is in the way we define it. Life naturally has its ups and downs, and life is constantly asking you to define who you are in relationship to it. You’re never […]

When You’re in the Flow

… everything moves with you. And when you are not, nothing works. When you are in the flow of your life – flowing downstream — everything flows along side you. When you are out of that flow – pushing upstream — things are much more difficult. How do you know the difference? Ask yourself how […]