… It’s the big stuff that matters.

How often do we find ourselves doing this? We obsess over the small things – the things that do not matter – the small items that we need to cross off our to-do list. We allow these small, mundane items to take precedence over our lives and give them the power to impart happiness or misery over us.

If we are not careful, we can busy our days with lots of small and insignificant items and/or activities. These items may seem very important to us in our day-to-day mundane lives but in the grander scheme of our lives, they are not very important at all. In fact, these small items distract our attention away from what really matters in life.

Let’s define what really matters in life. We can sum it up in two words – your relationships. Translation: how do you show up in all your relationships? All relationships being those with colleagues, with lovers, with friends, with clients, with bosses, with shop clerks, etc… If you want to know how you are faring in life, worry less about your item list and worry more about how you are treating those around you. For instance, are you fair? Are you kind? Are you constructive? Are you inspiring others? Are you a motivator?  Or on the other hand, are you spiteful and resentful? Are you jealous? Are you passive aggressive? Do you busy yourself so that you do not have to deal with other people? These are coping mechanisms and escape mechanisms programmed into us. They do not serve the purpose of the soul, they only temporarily satisfy the ego.

The ego will always make the tasks at hand seem supremely important, especially if the tasks are created to distract oneself away from relations with other people. Sometimes we worry so much about doing and completing tasks that we completely forget that at the end of the day, it is really unimportant as to whether or not the task was actually completed, but what does matter is how you made another person feel while you were trying to complete that task.

If it becomes a choice as to whether or not to strike something off our to-do list or actually face up to our insecurities and issues with others and allow ourselves to connect and be there for someone who needs us, the choice should become increasingly clear. When all is said and done, life is about being and not doing. If you focus on being, I assure you, you will innately become happier and more centered. Doing always needs to be busy or it will never be complacent because doing is a means of escaping a deeper connection to others.. You can spend your life chasing your tail, but it will never make you happy. Don’t sweat the small stuff… let go of the details. Life becomes easier, happier and much more joyful when you look at those around you and learn to make an honest connection to them; that is what the big stuff is all about.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

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