Codependent Relationships

April 18, 2016

Codependent Relationships… depend on someone else.

Healthy relationships depend on oneself.

Do you NEED someone in your life? Do you NEED someone to be or do something for you? Do you NEED someone to make you feel a certain way in order to feel good about yourself, to feel safe or to feel desirable? If so, recognize that need is need, it is NEVER love. Don’t confuse the two.

Needing someone else makes you emotionally needy. Relying on yourself makes you emotionally strong. Emotionally needy people tend to find each other and the dance of codependency begins.

When you are emotionally needy, you are prone to “needing to be in a relationship;” not necessarily the right relationship for you, just any relationship.

When you are emotionally strong, your preferrence is to be alone rather than in the wrong relationship.

An emotionally strong person prefers to tend to their own garden and water their own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring them flowers. An emotionally needy person prefers to be in anyone else’s garden even if they are allergic to the flowers.

Happiness is only found in your own garden – the garden you create with your likes, dislikes, and experiences growing different flowers.  Don’t need someone else’s garden to make you happy, cultivate your own. Let it grow lush and be a representative example of the beauty you have to offer to the world. Then share your garden with someone who understands your style of gardening and appreciates all your hard work.

Don’t keep yourself attached to someone who doesn’t understand your garden. It will slowly poison your soul until your garden withers and dies. Codependent relationships keeps us trapped in a garden we do not belong in. Be strong enough to stand alone and build your own garden. And in time, you will attract someone who complements your style of gardening and together you’ll grow your garden with mutual goals, understanding and respect. Life is too short to keep yourself trapped in a garden where you’re being suffocated by the vines. Find the garden where your flowers will thrive best and plant the seeds for the rest of your life.

Read more inspiration in Donnalynn’s new Book, “Life Lessons,” click here.

If you would like more information on Life Coaching Sessions with Donnalynnclick here.

If you would like to read some reviews on Donnalynn’s Coachingclick here.

If you would like to schedule a session with Donnalynn, click here.

Follow Donnalynn on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

Written by Donnalynn Civello

0 Comments

Leave A Comment

Leave a Reply

RECENT POSTS: Ethereal Wellness Counseling

When You Walk With Your Head Down

… you walk into walls. It’s common sense. When you’re not looking where you’re going, you’re most likely going to end up somewhere you don’t want to be. Most of us sleepwalk our way through our lives — running the mouse wheel of life. We are so busy trying to make a living that we […]

It’s Not About Making The Right Choice

… it’s about accepting the choice you’ve already made. Our life’s path is made up of choices and there are no mistakes when it comes to making choices, because there are no right or wrong choices, there are only different choices. Don’t get caught up in the choice you’ve made – make it and move on. […]

Looking Back to the Past

… is only helpful to the extent it allows you to move forward into your future.  If it doesn’t, it keeps you back. Your life is only ever in front of you, never behind you. The past can be an informative tool if we don’t get trapped in it. If you want to uncover the […]

A Mid-life Crisis

… requires a mid-course correction. A mid-life crisis can happen at any age, but the wisdom here is that the secret to healing it, is in the way we define it. Life naturally has its ups and downs, and life is constantly asking you to define who you are in relationship to it. You’re never […]

When You’re in the Flow

… everything moves with you. And when you are not, nothing works. When you are in the flow of your life – flowing downstream — everything flows along side you. When you are out of that flow – pushing upstream — things are much more difficult. How do you know the difference? Ask yourself how […]