Healthy relationships depend on oneself.
Do you NEED someone in your life? Do you NEED someone to be or do something for you? Do you NEED someone to make you feel a certain way in order to feel good about yourself, to feel safe or to feel desirable? If so, recognize that need is need, it is NEVER love. Don’t confuse the two.
Needing someone else makes you emotionally needy. Relying on yourself makes you emotionally strong. Emotionally needy people tend to find each other and the dance of codependency begins.
When you are emotionally needy, you are prone to “needing to be in a relationship;” not necessarily the right relationship for you, just any relationship.
When you are emotionally strong, your preferrence is to be alone rather than in the wrong relationship.
An emotionally strong person prefers to tend to their own garden and water their own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring them flowers. An emotionally needy person prefers to be in anyone else’s garden even if they are allergic to the flowers.
Happiness is only found in your own garden – the garden you create with your likes, dislikes, and experiences growing different flowers. Don’t need someone else’s garden to make you happy, cultivate your own. Let it grow lush and be a representative example of the beauty you have to offer to the world. Then share your garden with someone who understands your style of gardening and appreciates all your hard work.
Don’t keep yourself attached to someone who doesn’t understand your garden. It will slowly poison your soul until your garden withers and dies. Codependent relationships keeps us trapped in a garden we do not belong in. Be strong enough to stand alone and build your own garden. And in time, you will attract someone who complements your style of gardening and together you’ll grow your garden with mutual goals, understanding and respect. Life is too short to keep yourself trapped in a garden where you’re being suffocated by the vines. Find the garden where your flowers will thrive best and plant the seeds for the rest of your life.
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